To Live Is Christ.

“I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

- Philippians 1:3-6

Hello and happy summer! It has been three months since I left to the Philippines and every single day that was spent there has been filled with so many stories. If I were to write about each individual one, you’d be reading a novel. I witnessed so many incredible things that God did around me, but what truly has defined this time for me is what He has done inside of my heart.

The Philippines was a beautiful green nation full of so much life. I was in awe of God’s creation daily, there was no escaping it. The sun was always out, there were gorgeous clear oceans, the jungles were vibrant, the mountains were breathtaking, as the moon and stars lit up the night sky I was reminded of how even though I was on the other side of the world, I was closer to home than I felt.

Even more beautiful than the land I was on, the people were even more so. All of the foods were filled with sugar (even spaghetti and pizza!), so we often joked about that being the reason the people were so sweet. The kindness and hospitality that every person from the YWAM PH Impact base, to the church leadership and congregants, to the teachers, faculty, and students at the schools, to a person on a random street inviting us into their home, to the people in tribes that have never seen foreigners before- each and every single person welcomed us as if what they had was ours. They gave us all that they had- all of their time, resources, and love. Even when what they had wasn’t much in the material, they withheld nothing. What they carried was much more than any material thing. I pray that the Holy Spirit would give me the same gift of generosity they had.

By the end of outreach we have documented that we preached the gospel (creation and the fall, Jesus coming, the cross, His resurrection, Eternity, the choice we have to make to receive salvation- and how it all comes together.) to 3,254 people. We saw 1,703 surrender their lives to Jesus, 11 physical healings, and 56 people receive deliverance. These are all amazing things worth celebrating. These are people who have encountered God and will one day be with Him for all eternity.

I couldn’t help but notice how most of the time people were very receptive of this gospel message, even the difficult parts. When you mentioned “your life is not your own anymore”. “Jesus gave His life so that you could give Him yours”. Instead of getting offended and shrieking back, they recognized their need for Him and were willing to make that decision once again, to give all they had.

I recounted the times I shared about Philippians 1:29 “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain”. I remembered singing a song at the beginning of outreach called ‘Missionary Anthem’ written by YWAM Kona. “I will preach the gospel, I’ll die and be forgotten, as long as You get the glory” were always the lyrics with the climax. When I read this scripture and sang these lyrics did I only think of a final, quick death? Or could they possibly also be speaking about a slow death that I have to choose to submit to every moment?

You see, my second week in the Philippines I began to get sick- unable to keep any food down, and ever since then it was just one thing after another for my body. My entire time there I had digestive issues whether it was my stomach getting used to new foods, reactions to eating gluten, intestinal parasites, flu like illnesses, an injured knee, a sliced open hand, widow bites, back/neck pain from sleeping on concrete, sunburns, or blisters from the heat. I became only weaker in body while on the island of Mindoro, but through my physical weakness, God showed His strength and so clearly had my entire team in His hands.

One day during ministry I heard the Holy Spirit ask me “Do you really want to be transformed into My image? Do you want to look like Jesus?” As He asked me this I looked out and saw a crowd of very clearly malnourished people with the biggest smiles on their faces. I saw shoeless children sitting around me with lice all over their hair. I smelt sewage and felt the sun beaming on me. I remembered the houses we had just went inside- all very close together, with no electricity, nothing I would call comfortable. Yet these people called it “home”. I was reminded of Matthew 8:20: “foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay His head.” The Son of Man has no place to even lay for His head. No, He traded a pillow for a crown of thorns. He stepped down from His high throne to be born as a baby, in a stable, to a young virgin. He was a Man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. He was Jesus of Nazareth, and could anything good come from Nazareth?

It was at this moment I realized, these very people that we are talking to about Jesus, look and live more like Him than I ever could. They know Him in a way I never have. While I may be going through these temporary pains, sicknesses, and struggles. This has been their life. Yet they are filled with gratitude and generosity. Just like Jesus, who grew up with little to nothing, they gave everything within measure and beyond measure. In that moment my love for them and for Jesus only grew. To gain the whole world and all of its commodities is rubbish if you lose your soul and if you lose Christ. Yet, you can count all of your loss as gain if what you gain is Christ. Jesus has been their treasure, their strength, and their friend. For them, to live is Christ.

When the Holy Spirit gets you to look at it that way, you become a lot more grateful for your sickness and struggles. I truly am so blessed, not only because God has seen me through and I have safely made it back to the U.S, but because I have been able to know Him, the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of just a little bit of His sufferings. Even more than that, He knows me. I can be fully confident that He has felt every single bit of pain and comes close to us when we’re in it. I pray that I never close my heart to encountering Him, even if encountering Him is what this world considers as “loss”. A song we often sang with locals around us is what I think of right now:

“Thank You for sunshine

Thank You for rain

Thank You for joy

Thank You for pain.”

We would not know the beauty of sunshine without the rainy days and we would not know true joy without pain. In the same way we would not know the resurrection without death. We would not know Christ unless He first knew us.

3 of my favorite testimonies!!

Testimony #1- House to House Day #1:

On our first day doing house to house evangelism, we partnered with Victory Church. My evangelism group was Pastor Derwin, Jang, Zach J, Jojo, and myself. This day we went around praying, sharing the gospel, testimonies with quite a few people. Right as we were about to wrap up and walk back to meet the rest of our team, we noticed a little boy who was on the ground because he had fallen and scraped his knee up. Much of the neighbors were out and began to check on him. Jojo decided he would talk to this boy and pray over his knee. Meanwhile, I began talking with some of the kids surrounding the situation. Eventually two young teenage girls were highlighted to me. I approached them, and we conversated for a while. One of the girls was a bit more closed off, she mainly just wanted to know about America. I eventually decided to tell the other girl my testimony, of how Jesus saved me from myself when I was just 15 years old. I testified of how Jesus gave me joy where I once had depression, peace where there was once anxiety, and love where there was once hardness in my heart. She began to cry so I asked her, “would you like Jesus to do for you what He has done for me?” she said “yes!” and made the decision right there to give her life to Jesus. It was a beautiful moment of celebration that only encouraged my faith more and helped me step out further during house to house ministry.

Testimony #2- Classroom to Classroom Evangelism:

One day our team broke up into several groups as we did classroom to classroom evangelism at a public school in Noveleta. My team was Ellis, Anna, and Carlo. We would go into the classes and do an ice breaker in front of the class, then began to divide into 3 small groups- where each one of us got to get to know the students, share the gospel, our testimony, and invite them to surrender their lives to Jesus- or just pray with them! Earlier that day I asked God to make it clear when someone was giving their life to Him, that it wouldn’t be just a time of someone repeating a prayer or raising their hand because it’s what’s expected of them, but that the word of God would pierce hearts. As I was in a group of about 5 other girls they began to tell me their struggles with sin and how hard it is to approach God because they feel too dirty and too far gone. Together, we were able to break shame off, make a plan to study the word of God/pray with friends, and 4 rededitcated their lives to Jesus!

Testimony #3- A Woman of Faith:

During our first week in Mindoro, we ended up ministering to a tribe that lived in huts on a beach. Pastora Irene led a group of us to houses around this beach, inviting people to come to this event where we share all about Jesus. We got to one house where this little older woman came out. Pastora Irene invited her to our event. That day I shared the gospel at the end of the event and as I was walking back to my seat, I locked eyes with this lady from before. As I start walking near her, she extends her hand and begins speaking to me in Tagalog. Our translator, James, told us that she’s always in extreme pain due to an accident she was in several years prior. Her legs and arms are always in pain and very discolored. This woman said that she loves Jesus, He is a faithful friend to her, and that she walked all the way down to where we were, just for an encounter with Him. As she was speaking, Cornelia, Lydia, and Anna all came alongside us. Not only was this woman full of faith, but these girls were too. We all believed that Jesus wanted to heal her that day. After praying, worshiping Jesus, and prophesying over her- we saw the discoloration fade and her arms get healed. She was able to swing and move them much more than before. Jesus healed her and she was overwhelmed by the love He has for her!!

Updates + Announcements:

I am back in the United States and have graduated from YWAM Kansas City!
After 2.5 years, the Lord has released me to come back and visit California. I am back here until the 14th of June. I will be attending my Great Grandma’s funeral and catching up with some family and friends.
I’ll be back in Springfield by the 17th working on getting certified in TESOL
In September I am moving back to Kansas City for leadership training at the YWAM base and am prayerfully considering joining staff once I complete training

Prayer Requests:

Strength, encouragement, and communities that sharpen for all of my team from YWAM as they are settling in back home
Breakthrough for friends and family here in California… Led by the Spirit as I come alongside them throughout this short visit
Wisdom and guidance in how I step into what is next
Healing in my body
Provision for upcoming needs

Thank you so much for everything! Through your partnership in intercession and giving, people all around the world are meeting Jesus and being marked by Him!!

Sincerely, Jessica Lawrence

***One of our very first nights in the Philippines we had a bonfire and worship with the YWAM PH Impact base and a YWAM Kona team.***

Meet Juliana and Janlyn! They are 2 fiery youth from Victory Church that boldy preach the gospel and were amazing at translating for our team. They are such sweet girls and I look forward to seeing what God does in both of their lives!

***After a day of house to house evangelism- Anna, Cornelia, Juliana, Hannah, Janlyn, and I take some photos on our way to try some boba sold out of a local woman’s home!***

Small groups at the schools in Noveleta!

Withholding Nothing, I Find Myself Holding Onto You

Revive Me