The God Who Sees Me.

So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “You are a God of seeing,” for she said , “Truly here I have seen Him who looks after me.”

- Genesis 16:13

What Is God Doing In My Heart?

Outside of everything picking up around here these last couple of months, one of the other reasons I have delayed in writing is simply because the Lord has been doing so much in my heart. There has been so much that I’ve needed to process with just Him and keep sacred before sharing. These days I find myself in my living room late at night as the rest of the world is asleep. I sit there with Jesus and tears fill my eyes as I recount the beautiful ways that Jesus has shown up in my story. Not very long ago, I had plans for myself. They were good plans, plans that the world and even the church would call a success. Goals, dreams, ambitions that would be talked about when I was long gone and people would say to themselves “she lived a good life”. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a good life, or even dreams. But oh my, am I glad that when I made the decision to hand the pen that was writing out my narrative over to Jesus, He gladly took it and wrote out something beyond my absolute wildest dreams.

For years I’ve dreamed about missions. The Middle East. The hardest places. A generation on fire for Jesus. Friends that run with me on missions. I’ve dreamed of these things before I had ever even heard about YWAM. I tried to attain all of those things the best ways I knew how. I was one of the many within the church that believed that you needed to just keep holding onto your calling and chasing after the promises. When I finally laid them all down on the altar, the Lord began to purify my “yes” and reveal what it was really unto, then in His perfect timing, He began to hand them back one by one. The question came, “was loving Jesus and Jesus only enough for me?”. I feel that question for many in the church today. If we are even hesitant with answering this question, we are in a dangerous place. A place I believe many, if not all in ministry, will be met with. Can you live a life of simply beholding the One who beholds you? Or do you prefer something else before you?

As our Middle East teams have been in training for outreach, we have touched on not necessarily going to nations with only our intellect and head knowledge, but with wholehearted love for the lost. We are not going simply to pick a debate with Muslims, we are going with the Father’s heart for Ishmael, the son of Abraham and Hagar, the line of which Islam was born.

Muslims will tell you that one of their biggest issues with Christianity is how we relate to God as a Father or even talk about Jesus being the Son of God. To Muslims, God is unknowable. They approach God much like the sons who approached their Father as only a slave in Luke 15.

But there is a true living God who speaks and sees. Who is a Father to the fatherless and who saves all who call after His name. A God who does not delight in the bloodshed of His people, but shed His perfect blood for us. A Father that longs for Ishmael. A Father that wastes nothing. A Father that longs for you and I.

As I think about Hagar’s desperation while pregnant with Ishmael, I cannot help but think about this journey I’ve had with Jesus. In my affliction He has never once turned away, and even in my wandering, He has never once left me. But He spoke over me, has shown me His goodness, and has watched over me. The God that shows Himself. The God that sees me.

What Have I Been Up To?

As of recently, my days have been looking different and certainly speeding up! Sometimes I connect with people interested in discipleship training school to give them more information, sometimes I am in a summer outreach, dts, or training meeting, other moments of the days I’m joining times of worship/intercession over our base, sometimes I’m working on Summer outreach logistics, spending time with students, or serving in our on campus coffee shop! Today we are only 7 days away from our summer outreach arrivals so at the moment I’m really working on creating a space to welcome them. I am amazed that I get the privilege of doing what I do. Two years ago I would have thought that getting to serve this way and be surrounded with this community would have sounded like a far-fetched dream. God is truly so good. Even on days that I am tired, I am grateful because I see that I am standing on prayers that have been answered.

Announcements:

We received our DTS teams back from the Philippines and Thailand!! So many incredible things that God has done that we have been celebrating this week
In 10 days I will be on a plane with my team headed to the Middle East!
Between summer outreach, youth camps, and kids camps our base is in a very busy season!!
Coming back home to Springfield for about a week in July! Would love to connect with you :)
I’ll be staffing our fall discipleship training school and I’m SO EXCITED!!

Praise Reports:

Thank you for praying for my grandpa’s back surgery! It went well, as expected, and he is still in recovery.
Great reports from the doctor on my talus! The ligament has reattached itself and besides some minor pain I can walk, run, leap, skip, dance, and do pretty much anything else once again!
Our January DTS team returned from outreach and graduated just yesterday! They have amazing wild testimonies of what God did in Thailand and the Philippines.
Summer Outreach has been paid and I will be going with my team in 1 week!! Thank you for your prayers and giving!!

Prayer Requests:

Please pray for our 7 summer outreach teams!! Pray protection, provision, unity, health, seeds sown/watered, miracles, and encounters with Jesus as the gospel is being preached!
Pray that I would gain wisdom from fear of the Lord
Pray continued healing over grandpa’s body
One of my roommates, Jordan, will no longer be my roommate in a month from now! Prayers for her as she is transitioning to great things the Lord has in store! She will be in training to do dental work so that she can use it in the mission field :)

Giving:

Thank you thank you thank you!!! Without your giving I could not go. May your contributions be seeds sown and watered that become a harvest in the kingdom! Because of you I get to do what I do!

Things I’m believing for in my finances:

To be fully funded in reaching my monthly support goal. If I can be fully funded, I can more effectively do the assignment the Lord has entrusted me with. As I will be staffing this DTS my rent will be going up, I will be saving for DTS outreach, and using funds for times of discipleship/one on one’s with students.

I am believing for a vehicle, it would take a miracle to get this quickly, but it would be amazing to have something in time for the school I’ll be staffing this September. I love my current car and it has been a total gift from the Lord but I do not believe it is sustainable for ministry use much longer. I drive a 2005 Toyota corolla with nearly 280,000 miles on it. I have had this car for about 6 years.

Tax Deductible ways to donate:

YWAM: https://giving.ywamkansascity.com/support/jessica-lawrence

**** my code: V_L325

Please create an account before donating so that you can have your giving records on file for taxes.

Non tax-deductible ways to donate:

Venmo: @Jessica-Lawrence23

Cashapp: $jessrmarie

*** Please message me regarding questions about checks***

Thank you!!

Sincerely,

Jessica Lawrence