The Cost of Love.

But the king responded, “ I will certainly buy it from you for a price, I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God which cost me nothing.”

- 2 Samuel 24:24

Hello everyone! Can you believe that we are already in month 12? It seems 2023 has zoomed on by, but the Lord has certainly done so much and I am very excited to see all that He will do in the new year! Though these next few weeks will continue to get darker and colder, I pray that you are full of joy as you celebrate Jesus; this light that has come into the world for us all. This light that now lives inside of us.

What has God been doing in my heart?

I woke up only a couple of days ago with a song in my heart, a song I had honestly forgotten about. It’s called ‘My Offering’ and it was written by ORU Worship. I highly recommend you listen to the song for yourself but below are the words of the chorus:

"This love calms all my fears

This peace, only You can give

This joy, the world can’t take away

And though there’s pain and suffering

My worship is my offering

My reward is You and You alone.”

I began to make my way back home on December 3rd from YWAM Kansas City with lots of plans and exciting things beginning to be set in motion as I prepare to move to YWAM in January (more talk on this in the next section!) but upon the day of my arrival back to Springfield I began to face intense warfare and I have had to learn to know when to use the authority that God has given me and push through the obstacles that have come my way. I have also had to learn when to lay previous plans down and just trust that the Good Shepherd still has me and knows what this journey is to look like much better than I do.

So as I sat with Jesus one day, seeking Him for guidance on decisions I felt I needed to make, His response was “what’s your best offering?” That was not exactly the answer I was expecting from Him, yet it moved me. Though I was there with Him, I had allowed the pressures and heaviness of all the expectations that I had set for myself bombard our secret place so much that in that I had missed His value and His worth. Though I was there with Him, my gaze had been set upon all the mystery of the journey, not the mysteries of His heart. Of course, He kindly readjusted that. My response went something like “God, I don’t know what else I have to offer other than this life of mine. It’s not much but You know it’s all yours.” In that moment, suddenly my mind was flooded with peace and my heart was on fire with love.

Sometimes we see the words “offering” or “cost” or “sacrifice” as dirty and legalistic. We think of our lack, we think of another requirement we have to meet, and we may even think of the bloody animals laid on the altar in the old testament. If you read the bible it won’t be long until you find examples of “empty sacrifices/offerings” that mean nothing for the Lord because they were given out of man’s own ambitions. Two examples that come to mind are Cain and the Pharisees- offerings made by them with no sincerity and no love in their hearts.

Yet there were examples of people like Abraham who refused to withhold even his promised son from God, David’s undignified dancing and costly burnt offerings, the widow who gave all that she had into the temple treasury, Mary of Magdala who poured out her alabaster jar (believed by many theologians to be part of her dowry) all over Jesus, Paul’s sacrifice of position and acceptance of persecution, and of course God Himself sacrificing His one and only Son for us all. Not one of these offerings were done by anything other than love. Love is a life laid down and to stay in love is costly. But our “cost” always weighs small in comparison to the worth of Jesus. The love we have received from Him drives us to love Him right back with our entire lives.

Glenn Shepherd came into my class during my DTS for what we call Revival Week. He was teaching us on revival history and I’ll never forget what he taught us on the price vs. the cost of revival. He said “the price is what you pay to obtain revival but the cost is what you pay to maintain revival.” I believe there’s many who sincerely have given God their ‘yes’ at one point and have genuinely laid everything down as an offering before Him. It was there you encountered the first love fire. But if we are to be a living sacrifice (Romans 12) then we lay down on the altar every chance we get and we find that this love begins to burn even brighter than it did in the beginning. Refuse to give Him an offering that doesn’t cost you anything. If you want fire from Heaven to fall over your life and never stop burning (Leviticus 6), may I suggest laying something on the altar? We give our resources, our time, our reputation, our plans, and our comfort to whoever it is that we love and there’s absolutely nobody more worthy of it than Jesus!

What Am I Up To?

After Thanksgiving I made another trip back to YWAM Kansas City to be there for the July DTS graduation and the September DTS commissioning night. During my stay there I had the opportunity to serve in our on campus coffee shop and during our ‘Those Who Wait’ conference. Fiery Brazilian churches flooded our campus to worship Jesus and to encourage one another with the Maranatha message. I had the honor of teaching the children for two days about the trifold meaning behind the word Maranatha: “Our Lord came.” “Our Lord is coming” “Lord, come!”. We discussed how the entire gospel can be seen from Genesis with God’s promise to Abraham that all nations would be blessed through his seed and later in Revelation we see that God makes His dwelling place among all people!

Since coming home I have recovered from illness, been connecting with friends/family here, and preparing to return to YWAM. I plan to move to YWAM as a full-time missionary on January 12th 2024! I will be joining the Go Team to mobilize the body of Christ, specifically this next generation, to answer the call to take the gospel to the unreached! I will have the opportunity to do ministry trips both domestically and overseas, all with the purpose of seeing a great harvest in both souls and laborers in the harvest field that is the 10/40 window. This summer you can join us as we go to the unreached! If you’re interested, the link for information and applications is here.

While this is extremely exciting and I am believing it is the Lord’s leading, I cannot go without your support and partnership. In order to fully give myself to this next assignment, I am in great need of monthly financial partners and as always, partners in intercession. If you are interested at all in linking arms or just have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me!

BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS:

I am in Springfield until January 12th!
I am stepping into full-time missions with YWAM’s Go Team!!
I’m going to the unreached this summer!!!

PRAYER REQUESTS:

Provision for missions
September DTS as they are currently on their outreaches in the Philippines and Southeast Asia
Healing in my household: sickness has been going around and my grandpa just received word that he is in need of surgery on his back

FINANCIAL:

For an idea of how much I’ll be needing throughout my time with YWAM, here is my monthly budget

Very soon you will be able to donate directly through ywamkansascity.com and it will be tax-deductible. Until then, here are current open ways to give if you feel led of the Lord to do so:

Venmo: @Jessica-Lawrence23

Cashapp: $jessrmarie

*** Please message me regarding questions about checks***

Sincerely, Jessica Lawrence